Adaptation A - Final Submission


  1. Ryan, I’m going to separate this feedback into two parts;

    1) Indoctrination scene: This scene answers the brief in terms of its uses of graphics to help visually explain information. In addition you keep the information contained within an abstract (iconography) style, established earlier in your film. Overall this was a step in the right direction to a successful film. There is evidence of this method in other scenes too such as the ‘hypnosis’ scene, the ‘am I crazy’ scene, and the ‘cat/cuteness’ scene however these are not quite as well executed and read as underdeveloped versions of something that could have been slightly better made/ thought out.
    2) The remaining scenes: Unfortunately, the remaining scenes ‘drop’ the method of ‘visual explanation’ in favour of ‘effects’ and ‘background animation’. Simply put these scenes are filled with effects/ animation that do not help visual communication. There is something ‘stock’ about your effects too (tutorial like), they have very little to do with your film’s theme – “A place where dreams come true’ for example. I can see that you were trying to make a ‘dreamscape’ here but this doesn’t read overly well or quite match your design style.

    Overall your film has mixed results in terms of communication for the reason listed above. I’d also suggest there is something about your choice of topic, the information, and method of construction which is somewhat ‘awkward’ – To put that another way there’s a more refined and specific script in there that didn’t quite get fleshed out before you made this film, it’s a little vague (we will talk about that in your tutorial). However the reason why this is important to note is that you’re experiencing a similar problem for Part B of this project, all of your choices have been typified by their vague, subjective, fantasy characteristics. These kinds of choices will not help you improve your design skills instead they keep you from confronting personal developmental issues. To improve in the future avoid this kind of ‘floaty’ subjective approach to design and project building.

    NOTE: Ryan, it’s not acceptable to ‘fall asleep’ (eyes closed / head down) in Maya classes. I’m not sure why this is the case but I suggest you find a way to address this asap.


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