Cult script draft

So you want to start a cult, here are some questions you should ask before starting a cult…?

Do you know what indoctrination is?
The act of inculcating ideas, attitudes, cognitive strategies or a professional methodology?

Well you are going to have to do a lot of indoctrinating, like an infection you will need to find and convince people that your ideology is correct. If they don’t shun them and brand them a heretic or agent of evil. It’s okay to do this because your belief system is the only one that matters, since it is correct.

Are you charismatic enough to convince others to join your cult?

You’re going to have to… Talk to people and trick… *Cough cough*. Persuade them to join your awesome cult. Try cats or just generally cute things I hear that it is very affective, if thank doesn’t work then more shunning…

Do you fear human contact?

That’s fine just take to the internet, where all your dreams will come true, start small, post your ideas on social media, look for people who agree with you;  you’ll need likeminded individuals… you can work on removing the individual part later…   once you have gain a small following move to forums and spread your ideas and theories. Do worry it’s the internet you are protected by the veil of anonymity, say whatever you want…

Wait wait before we continue… do you have a belief that you feel that the world must know?

Okay great...

What will your cult be called?

You can base your cult name on that belief… I’ll use my cult as an example:

Each human being contains many alien spirits that were trapped in volcanos by hydrogen bombs.

Now you may be wondering how that’s going to become a catchy cult name… easy… take the first letter of each word… EHBCMASTWTIVBHB… There you go a catchy acronym that rolls right off the tongue.

What will your cult do?

Me and likeminded Volcano bombers, are working of creating more hydrogen bombs to trap more alien spirits. This is quite difficult as none of us are physicists, but we won’t let that stop us. We have been watching simple how too guides and stealing weapons grade… Never mind that’s not important. My point is what your cult goals are, will it be something dumb like search for your maker, the meaning of life or do something that important like me and the bombers.

Are you artistic?

Because now that the name is sorted you are going to need a symbol, something shiny and eye catching to that make you look hip and down with the times.   A common troupe you are going to have to avoid is the black symbol white background. Who ever said simple is powerful, splash some colour onto the drab symbol … You don’t need anything extravagant like illustrator or sketchbook designer. Just use what you have... Ms Paint will do or if you’re really a fancy paintbrush on Mac OS. It doesn’t matter if it looks like a new-born drew it… Just pass it of as postmodern, and say that you are questioning the symbolism used by other cults and their modern ideals.

A really important question to ask is

Am I crazy?

All too often I get those crazies trying to start a cult of “change” and “positive reinforcement”, I give them all these great questions and  information and they just miss use it… ignoring the really important concepts like:

Humanity is a social experiment, devised by lord Erencs the llama king to create a diverse toy set for his home planet?

Or

In 2017 August 21, Extra-terrestrial life well come from space to take us back to our true home planet, but will only accept those who drink the “holy drink” and wear the ceremonial robe.

Do I sound intelligent?

This is very important, smart people like Lazarsfeld and Katz say that opinion leader set the trend and opinion followers blindly accept and mimic the trends. Now to be an opinion leader you are going to have to sound clever, try using big words and imitating British royalty. You don’t have to know what the words mean just thrown them into a sentence. If anyone ever question your use of a word they are too smart, in this case just move to the next person.